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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member My Name is duck and I'm here to cluckFemale/United States Recent Activity
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We all know we will face it eventually... The inevitable loss of a parent, but I don't know if it's something you can ever prepare for really... I lost my dad a month ago pretty unexpectedly. He never smoked and had gone to the doctors a few times over the last few months feeling winded before they diagnosed him with non smoker's lung cancer.

they told him it was treatable but truth is lung cancer or anything serious related to the lungs is just really, really bad and because of the stigma with smoking I don't think our health system has explored getting treatments for lung ailments the way they do for prostate or breasts...

Anyhow, they started him on chemo but then did a rewind in the diagnosis and said it wasn't lung cancer, it was something else. 

While the doctors scratched their heads he got sick in a matter of days, ultimately they intubated him and a couple days later we took him off life support as per his wishes..

it was fast and sudden in that I had to say my goodbyes while he was under sedation because we were told we would have years and got a week so I didn't think to do it when I left the hospital that day when they were getting it under control but in the end a machine was breathing for him and I just have to trust he heard everything I had to say while under sedation as the pulmonary fibrosis was so severe there was no coming back.

he didn't go in pain and that's the only comfort we're granted.

Those are the gory bits, at least as much as I care to share.

I do feel the health system let him down severely and I've anger at them for that, but as my friend told me if you ask yourself what would have been enough time... Another day? A week? A year? And the answer is always no; there's just never enough time so be grateful for the time you did get. I'm trying really hard.

I miss is him... so much. some days are this empty sensation coupled with a deep anguish in my heart that no words can mend and I know it's fresh and I know the memories will be cumulative but I'm having trouble shaking those last few days because they packed a powerful kick & I'm terrified of forgetting why I admired him so much and spent my life trying to emulate him as best as I was capable. The good and the bad I'm afraid will be overshadowed by this final image... I really hope not.

He lived a full, rich life which was so evident when we tried to list all do his accomplishments... I would have liked more time as would everyone who knew him but life is brief and it's important we actually try to forget how brief so we can live it fiercely & with vigor and drive and milk every god damn second we can without fear of the end because those moments, they're all fleeting and precious and we're all deserving of as many as we can muster.

deviantID

cypherx
My Name is duck and I'm here to cluck
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
oh boy, a bio section. rawr.

I've been creating pieces for 8 years now & would be classified as autodidact-hobbyist; while yes I do get paid for some of my work, it's in no way the primary source of income for me nor do I have a [current] desire for it to be.

The second that changes you'll all know because I'll be pushing for my work to be in magazines [more often] and doing a lot more traditional work as I feel my style of work translates best to gallery setting (as opposed to concept artist).

Because it is my secondary source of income & I do it for funzies I don't tend to complete pieces the way I should like (especially recently as I work about 10 hours a day for da man coming home to try and refine work seems nigh impossible).

I have dreams of having more time to do more projects but bottom line is you have to pick between pleasure and necessity sometimes & for me right now the two worlds don't co-exist.
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:iconbeehivestudio:
BeehiveStudio Nov 30, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
so nice to see an amazing artist around my crib

;)
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:iconmiesjelluh:
I've just fallen in love with your work, this is amazing!
Reply
:iconchicorycoffee:
ChicoryCoffee Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ALways adored your amazing gallery. The things you do with color are mouthwatering.
Reply
:iconsefalet:
sefalet Sep 25, 2012  Student Interface Designer
:)
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:iconsoulsilk:
Your gallery is phenomenal! I'm so glad I stumbled onto your page!
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:iconcypherx:
cypherx Sep 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconblackrain1678:
Hey

Do you plan on doing any more "Madonna and Venus" pics, because they're amazing :D
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:iconcypherx:
cypherx Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I hadn't really thought about it at all honestly.

Currently undecided is my best response I suppose ha
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:icongillyweed999:
Everything is SO beautiful! I completely love your gallery.
Reply
:iconsinistershadow11:
There are so many accounts of people who are talented painters but create things that look cool but have little meaning. You, you excellent artist of a person, are a great painter but on other terms are not like the others at all! I think every piece you make is so original, and you use such great colors to relay feeling. You are so creative and that's what artists should be like.
Your pictures are worth much more than a thousand words.

Haha sorry for the drawing, my epic skills won't ever match yours!
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
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:iconcypherx:
cypherx Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:) thank you!! Really appreciate it.

I should watch myself... Too many kind words read this early in the morning is like drinkin the whole pot of coffee •_*

You energized my day!
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:iconcatherine62:
Catherine62 Aug 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
very very beautiful work!!!!
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:iconat-home-in-space:
at-home-in-space Jul 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
:rose: thank-you
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:iconcrazedshitakes:
Random Deviant Howdy!!
how are you? :D
:wave:
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:iconkaronno:
Just read your new bio. I feel the same about personal art being an optional hobby. Can't seem to get myself going after hours painting at work.
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:icongeeiaabidge:
I've been away for quite a while too, I must agree with below! I also look forward to participating in your next contest, they really help get my creative juices flowing, always fun!
Reply
:iconcypherx:
cypherx Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh hell, thanks.

On the ContextX thing: not so sure when I'll be having another one. I really should throw one together this summer I suppose. I honestly love doing them but now deviantart has nice big contests so almost feels silly doing mine!
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:icongeeiaabidge:
You should! :D I know DA has some big ones, but the subjects/categories you choose are so interesting! Besides, the big DA ones don't seem to have the spirited community feel of participating in yours! Either way, it's good to be back on DA, see you around!
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:iconcypherx:
cypherx Apr 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well I really thought I would give it a go, but honestly i think people's interest has waned for these sorts of things. I haven't even got a full crew of judges let alone real interest in partaking (except a few which is good but not enough to throw something together!).

I'll prob see if it picks up but right now as it stands it doesn't look like I'll be doing one again.
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:iconamayatokemi:
I've been away from DA for a quite a couple of years - must say, I've missed seeing your work c:
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:iconcypherx:
cypherx Apr 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Comments like this make my afternoon just a little bit brighter; even on an already gorgeous day such as today :)
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:iconsaintpepsi:
saintpepsi Mar 25, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
miss you and how have you been. Hope all is well :)
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:iconcypherx:
cypherx Apr 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah how are you these days?

we're getting old, no?
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